Just lie and tell him I'm fine. | blackberrybelle's Blog

That's what I did tonight when my boyfriend asked if I'm ok. I said "Sure." What's the point in complaining to him anymore. All I get is a "I'm sorry, I wish I could help :(" text from him, then I feel like a bigger loser. I hate knowing that a new year is about to begin. I used to be hopeful about new years, but 99% of the time I'm miserable anyway so who cares. I feel like I'm dying and screaming and no one can hear me. No one knows what to do anyway. My life is such an embarrassment. I'm at a standstill. It's too dark to see my way out. I don't want to take stupid Lexapro, but maybe I should suck it up and do it. It's not like I've done myself a lot of good by
self-medicating. I have found a few things that really work, but it's only temporary, not something
that can be taken every day. I guess a temporary fix is better than no relief at all, but that's what keeps me on this emotional rollercoaster. I can feel amazing for a day or two, then it's back to the bottom. What goes up, must come down. Never fails. Oh well, for now I will continue to enjoy Pink Floyd and fall asleep. If only I never had to face waking up.